月下隻影◎強迫分裂

040000 As you go through life you’ll see There is so much that we Don’t understand And the only thing we know Is things don’t always go The way we planned But you’ll see everyday That we’ll never turn away When it seems all your dreams come undone We still stand by your side Filled with hope and filled with pride We are more than we are We are one If there is so much I must be Can I still be me The way I am Can I trust in my own heart Or am I just one part Of some big plan Tars of pain, tears of joy One thing nothing can destroy Is our pride, deep inside We are one Ever those who are gone Are with us as we go on Your journey has only begun We are one, you and I We are like the earth and the sky One family under the sun All the wisdom to lead All the courage that you need You will find when you see We are one Just believe yourself Remember – I will stay in your heart, Your thinking – Always! 　　今天下午吃過飯，我忽然翻起房裡那個小紙箱。那是很久以前，裝我第一雙Nike的紙箱。如今，它裝載著幾年來，我愛的、愛過我的人的隻字片語，還有一些小東西。 　　這是我的小小百寶箱。 　　我翻出一張從參考書後面撕下來的筆記，上面妳寫了這首。一九九九年，妳給我的。 　　現在回頭來看，好像更能了解。特別是在最後妳說的：「I will stay in your heart, your thinking, always!」真想笑著問妳：「Was that your spell?」 　　雖然妳曾在「畢冊」要我別再想起妳，雖然妳也說我回台灣的時候記得打電話告訴妳我很好（矛盾？）。這兩件事情，我一直都沒有做到。 　　會想起妳，但是就算拿起電話，也在拿起的同時失去勇氣。多少年沒有聯絡了？ 　　這天翻到這段筆記上的文字，才明白原來妳曾經對我下過咒語。 　　總覺得妳在我的人格養成過程中，扮演著很重要的角色。 　　妳難過嗎？抑或是高興？ 　　我希望有一天，能讓妳因為擔任我生命中這樣的角色而驕傲。 　　我過得還好。 　　期待成為藝術學院大一新生的兩千零四年初。